Home Opinion The Imperative to Deescalate Family Conflict – Kingsley Kuku
Opinion - Politics - April 29, 2020

The Imperative to Deescalate Family Conflict – Kingsley Kuku

The most intense conflicts are usually at home, within family, and with people closest to us. They bring us great pain and distress. They are the most challenging to handle many a time because they easily hold us hostage emotionally. Regardless, we can mostly turn these difficult moments into opportunities to build enduring rapport for communal advantage. This is the Bigger Picture (B.B) required in addressing the variance in policy implementation options between our illustrious sons, Hon. Success Torhukerhijo Esq, MHA and Mr. Donald Ojogo, CIO.

The Conflict Resolution or Management Approach best in this circumstance is Perspective Triangle Strategy (PTS). We must reside at the “balcony “ and view perspectives with some detachment to achieve sound clarity; clarity being the most powerful tool required to resolve conflict and essentially avoid escalation. The three (3) fundamental steps of PTS are Your Own Perspective, The Other’s Perspective and The Third Party’s Perspective. A sound application of these perspectives get you emotionally detached, gain valuable insight and have broader /deeper understanding of issues. It empowers us to stronger leadership position. Clarity, Empathy, Understanding and Leadership are Fulcrum herein. Arogbo patriots, politicians, leaders, eminents and organizations must carefully ACT towards the Bigger Picture, a Fundamental Interest (F.I) of unending quest for development that is above any other interest(s). We must deescalate by all actions, always.

The Honorable Success Torhukerhijo, MHA, is undoubtedly acting legitimately in fulfillment of his mandate derived from the Arogbo Ijo and Apoi Ijo. He has raised , questioned and pursued fundamental winking issues of existence and identity. He is right and must not suffer any indignities resultantly; and must never be seen and left allowed to face same. In same vein, the honorable Commissioner for Information and Orientation, Donald K. Ojogo does his statutory job, defend and speak for his boss and government. He raised, questioned and posited on record very germane and fundamental issues of concern. Our sons are both right by service expectations. They only require to apply tact and strategy to avoid being personal in their outcry, streamline towards common and bigger interests—-the community. Our duty, no matter the political differences and personal perspectives, is to drive them to that commonality, for, there lies peace and progress.

Applying the Perspective Triangle Strategy, I successfully engaged Hon. Barrister Success Torhukerhijo and Mr. Donald Ojogo yesterday. I spoke with the former 5 times and the latter 6 times. I have also sought telephone audience with the Governor. My 2 older brothers, though, cousin and nephew respectively, and I , found lost common interest. As enjoined, the honorable Commissioner for Information agreed and put the conciliatory call to our older brother, the honorable MHA. They have chatted, spoken and would meet to cement peace.Patriots always found common grounds, for, there is no bad peace, no good war. I urge ALL stakeholders to deescalate and deemphasize sides, right and or wrong. If we look deeper without emotional attachment, there lies truth in both imperfect positions. Arogbo can rise stronger In perfecting these imperfections. That is good communal politics at play. We shall still engage with the Governor to consolidate communal benefits.

I appeal, finally to partisan stakeholders, leaders ,community patriots and organizations to detach and look deeper; get clarity to de-escalate , suspend personal judgment and show unbiased leadership to broaden consensus. Conflict is an unavoidable part of life but can be resolved, transformed and experienced as a gift of life to achieve wiser “us”. We must learn a little more daily of how to love and be loved.
God bless us ALL IJN. Amen 🙏.

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